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    這幾種婚姻生活太辛苦了,還不如單身!

    時間:2018-05-03 13:40:35 來自:婚姻感悟  閱:

    涂磊在在《愛情保衛戰》中說“我們從來都是愛的迫切,卻從來不去注重愛的方式。”婚姻總是需要兩個人一起經營的,在經營的過程中更是要注重方式,不然就算再愛的夫妻,等生活耗盡了愛的養分,就只剩下干涸的泥土。

    有些婚姻就像一件華麗的袍子,外表光鮮亮麗,里面卻全是虱子,那些看在別人眼里的幸福,不過是浮在表面的假象,只有身在其中的人才明白這場婚姻的痛苦。

    婚姻終究是需要愛情的養分來滋潤生長的,愛是地基,是陽光,是空氣,是婚姻能夠幸福的秘密,而那些早已消耗掉愛情的婚姻,不過是一座空城,一個虛殼,一把灰燼,經不起生活的考驗,也抵擋不住時間的洪流。

    那些早該放手的卻依舊舍不得,即使大家都心知肚明,卻還要抓住婚姻的尾巴,將就的生活在一起,即不放過對方,也不放過自己,卻不知,這樣只會在一條錯誤的路上越陷越深。

    這樣的婚姻,即使還執念的攥在手里,也只會更加的辛苦。甚至在大多數人的眼里,以下幾種婚姻生活,還不如一個人過日子。

    1、冷戰,冷漠,兩個人完全沒有了交流的心力。

    婚姻當然是需要一定的距離感,空間感,才能讓彼此自由的呼吸,讓婚姻生活呈現健康和諧的循環,可是適當的距離感不等于就是兩個人完全互不關心,彼此冷漠如同路人,甚至再也沒有交流和溝通的能力。

    愛有一個很基本也很簡單的表現,就是“分享”,彼此愿意互相分享,愿意多“說說話”,哪怕只是沒有營養的八卦,都愿意和對方一起分享,交流。

    可是當彼此無話可說,不再愿意分享自己的一切,誰也不再去關心誰,這樣的婚姻關系,沒有期待,沒有驚喜,沒有甜蜜,只有無盡的冷漠,就猶如一條鐵鏈,牢牢的鎖住彼此,誰都逃不掉,大家互相折磨,互相傷害。

    這樣的婚姻,只會消耗掉大家對生活的熱情,兩個人都會辛苦的糾纏在這場沒有愛情的冷戰里。

    如果因為對婚姻沒有了希望和熱情,從而轉化為對生活沒有了朝氣和激情,那么這樣的日子想必無論任何人遇到都會覺得是難熬的。

    2、長期分居,互相背叛,早已沒有夫妻之實。

    婚姻最折磨人的是,一方無情背叛,另一方卻既無法原諒也不愿意放手。于是婚姻變成了終日的爭吵,好好的日子就成了雞飛狗跳人間地獄。

    婚姻的等價詞之一是“忠誠”,兩個人一起走過了那么多的考驗,早就應該是同舟共濟的戰友,可是當某一方在遇到外界誘惑的時候,自制力又不夠,于是拋棄曾今的山盟海誓,忘記了婚姻給予自己的責任,背叛了婚姻,背叛了愛人。

    婚姻中的“背叛”當然是不該輕易饒恕的原則性錯誤,可是很多人,一方面絕望卻又一方面心存僥幸,明明知道愛人已經背叛,已經不愛了,卻還是一邊埋怨,怨恨對方的不忠,一邊卻又死死抓住不肯離婚,結果就是,大家都在辛苦的煎熬。

    很多夫妻甚至到了最后,就變成了“各自玩各自的”,兩個人長期分居,互相背叛,卻也互相默許的畸形關系。可是這樣的婚姻不管是對自己還是對愛人,都像是一顆不定時炸彈,隨時都會讓彼此粉身碎骨。

    3、為了孩子,父母,互相將就著。

    很多夫妻寧愿選擇“只有夫妻之名,不再有夫妻之實”的表面婚姻,有一個最大的因素是孩子。

    是呀,孩子是相愛的結晶,是為人父母的心頭肉,不管夫妻之間的婚姻如何失敗,都不應該讓孩子來買單。

    還有就是會考慮到雙方父母的感情,很多人是夫妻關系早就破裂,可是婆媳關系早已如母女,又如何忍心讓白發蒼蒼的老人來為自己婚姻的失敗買單呢?所以很多夫妻會為了孩子,老人,選擇將就著這場婚姻。

    家家都有一本難念的經,這樣將就的婚姻其實可以理解它的無可奈何,只是這樣將就,沒有了愛的基礎,即使夫妻兩個人表演的天衣無縫,演繹的就像一對伉儷情深的愛人,這樣虛偽的家庭氛圍又如何為孩子為老人提供一個真實溫暖的家呢?

    心知肚明的將就,兩個人一邊計算自己的付出,一邊厭惡對方,明明知道沒有未來,卻還要假裝有希望,結果換來的只會是更多的煎熬,心累。

    愛情是婚姻的基礎,可是婚姻比愛情更多了一份責任與克制,有些婚姻,執念的攥在手里,也只會像握不住的沙,用不了多久就會從指縫里溜走。

    如果婚姻不再具備了愛的基礎,將就換來的也只有辛苦,不如試著與自己和解,放下執念,及時止損,能修復的當然最好,實在無法繼續的,也不必強求,人生說長不長,說短不短,總得為自己活一次。

    如果這篇文章對您有幫助,請分享給身邊更多的朋友!

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