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    在中國,一輩子不結婚會怎么樣?

    時間:2018-05-06 11:36:02 來自:婚姻感悟  閱:

    01

    在中國,一輩子不結婚會怎么樣?

    只要你不在意別人的看法,真的不會怎么樣。如果你生活態度積極,內心豐盈,物質豐富,你還會過得很好。

    我同學的表姐,今年42歲了,未婚。有一次和同學約飯,同學帶上了她表姐。

    初次見她表姐,我眼前一亮。完全看不出年齡,她臉上沒有皺紋,化著淡淡的妝,整個狀態非常年輕。

    席間,我們談到時下年輕人熱衷的話題,表姐也參與進來。起初,我還擔心會有年齡代溝,看來是我多心了。

    女孩子間的約會,總少不了談八卦,比如最近哪個男孩在追我,哪個男孩和女孩在一起了。

    表姐很耐心的聽我們說,說到興奮處,她也跟著我們哈哈大笑起來。我和同學互相八卦完,就開始八卦表姐了。

    表姐大方的跟我們分享了她的上一段戀情。

    對方是一個比她小3歲的男人,創業公司老板,一表人才。兩人在一起半年多,對方很體貼,相處很愉快。

    唯一的不好是,對方急著結婚,而表姐這么多年沒走進婚姻,自然更加謹慎,希望相處時間久一點再考慮。可是對方接受不了,既然結不了婚,就沒必要交往了。

    分手后,表姐難過了好一陣,一張機票就飛到了國外散心。說到這些,表姐很淡然。

    她還告訴我們,戀愛、分手都是很正常的事情,不要怕受傷害就不去嘗試,每一次嘗試都會讓你成長。也不要說不相信愛情,享受過程比結局更重要。

    02

    后來,我跟同學說,我很喜歡表姐的生活態度。同學說,那必須,表姐是她的偶像。經過一番了解,才知道,表姐在公司身居要位,收入頗豐。

    我又問同學,表姐一直不結婚,是不是戀愛中受過很重的傷害,或者原生家庭不幸福。

    同學撇了我一眼,說我是寫文章寫傻了,還是看書看呆了。

    其實,表姐有一個很幸福的家庭,父母有體面的工作,也很恩愛,從小對表姐是富養,物質上不虧待,精神上也富足。

    至于戀愛,表姐談過最長的一段戀愛是三年,以和平分手告終,現在那個男孩應該二胎都會打醬油了。

    后來,表姐也談過好幾段戀愛,都是非常優秀的對象。

    至于為何遲遲走不進婚姻,同學說,表姐不是適合婚姻的那種人,她崇尚自由獨立,不喜歡被婚姻的形式捆綁,看她現在的狀態,你還會勸她結婚嗎?

    我連連點頭,42歲的女人,30歲的模樣,是多少人都羨慕不來的。

    03

    我又問同學,那家人不催婚嗎?同學的聲音提高了一個分貝,催啊,怎么能不催。

    在表姐跟我們差不多大的時候,也被父母催婚,七大姑八大姨四處給她搜羅對象。

    到了30歲,所有人都讓她別再挑了,再挑就真的嫁不出去了。

    表姐不急不躁,任憑他們怎么說,依然一個人過得瀟灑,笑得爽朗。

    對父母,她是孝順的。

    她給父母買了一套房,假期帶著他們四處游玩,每個星期回家陪他們吃一頓飯。

    這幾年,父母和親戚也不催她結婚了,看她過得充實又快樂,結不結婚又有什么關系呢?

    可以預見,表姐就算到了60歲,依然會像今天一樣樂觀優雅、不疾不徐的生活。

    04

    可能有人會擔心養老的問題,很多人結婚生兒育女不就擔心老無所依嗎?

    什么少來夫妻老來伴,什么養兒防老。

    其實,也未必。有人到了50歲才發現自己與丈夫毫無感情。

    曾經有個媽媽跟我講了她的經歷,她今年50歲了,女兒因為家庭矛盾離家出走好幾年了,杳無音信。

    她才發現與結婚二十幾年的丈夫沒有一點感情,之前兩人關系唯一的維系就是女兒。

    自從女兒離開家后,她和丈夫就開始分居了,并非兩人有什么矛盾,只是單純沒有愛了,生活在一個屋檐下著實沒有必要。

    她說,現在結婚證還在,如果丈夫要離婚,她一點意見都沒有。

    在一起生活了二十幾年,到最后,卻形同陌路,談何愛情,連親情都被歲月磨得渣都不剩。

    所謂少來夫妻老來伴,是建立在兩人相親相愛的基礎上,倘若沒有,就是睡在一張床上睡不出感情。

    至于養兒防老,不否認有些孩子會讓父母安享晚年,但是有一些孩子一輩子都在啃老。

    父母培養你上學,給你買房娶妻,再幫你帶孫子,一輩子操不完的心。

    如果沒有結婚,自然沒有養育的煩惱,現在條件這么好,只要你有足夠的經濟基礎,去好的養老院并不會過得差。

    05

    換個角度來說,一個人過得好不好,本身與是否婚育的關系并不大,而與你內心是否豐盈,以及物質生活是否有保障有關。

    婚育也好,不婚不育也罷,說到底都是個人的選擇。

    不是說婚育就意味著人老珠黃、一輩子完蛋了,也不是說不婚不育就意味著孤獨終老、會被別人的唾沫淹死。

    有些人結婚生子依然美麗優雅,有人不婚不育也幸福快樂,只能說這是不同的生活方式,或是人生不同的階段。

    人生那么長,世界那么大,生活的可能性很多,重要的是永遠不要放棄對生活的探索和對自我的提升。

    再者,每個人適合的生活方式不同,就像有人喜歡蘋果,有人喜歡桔子,你不能因為你喜歡蘋果不喜歡桔子,就說桔子不好吃,反過來亦然。

    很多東西,汝之砒霜,我之蜜糖。

    尊重每一個人的選擇,不妄自揣測別人的人生,就是一種極高的素養。

    再者,這世界上雖然人那么多,但是遇見真愛的幾率,本身就是一種小概率事件。

    時間一直走,沒有盡頭,只有路口。。你只有一直往前走,才有更大的幾率遇見。

    當然遇不見也沒關系,生活中有那么多精彩的事情,盡情去體驗,這一生都不算白過。

    不管結不結婚,都要去做喜歡的事情,做喜歡的自己。

    END.

    愈姑娘:自由撰稿人,一支筆寫盡人生百態

    如果這篇文章對您有幫助,請分享給身邊更多的朋友!

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