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    混得越好的人,越懂得這兩條處世天機

    時間:2018-10-24 09:41:38 來自:為人處世  閱:

    水滿則溢,月滿則虧,人滿則驕。為人處事的變通之道,就是凡事留點余地,也是給自己留條后路,成全他人,成就自己。

    老子在《道德經》中有這樣一句話: “直而不肆,光而不耀”。

    真正的圣人懂得,說話做事直率但不放肆,即使自己有了成就的光芒,但依舊保持溫潤低調, 不鋒芒畢露,不招搖顯擺。

    一個人混得好不好,往往跟自身的思維習慣,以及人生閱歷有很大的關聯。

    混得好的人,在能力方面也是出眾的,在社會中也有一定的影響力,也容易受人推崇,而且,他們都有一個共同點,懂得兩條處世天機:說話有分寸、做事留余地。

    01 說話有分寸:有度有量,外圓內方

    古往今來,任何事都離不開“分寸”二字。

    人生在世,分寸是無處不在、無處不有的。比如,人際關系需要把握分寸,婚姻相處需要把握分寸,推進工作需要也把握分寸,分寸既是一個理論問題,又是一個實踐問題。

    我們常說至剛易折,那么做人就要像水一樣,有力量又溫和。所謂言為心聲,一個人說話有分寸,有度有量,外圓內方,才是最大的善良。

    作家賈平凹曾經寫過一個故事:

    朋友有口吃,說話慢。有天路上遇到有人問路,偏偏這人竟也是口吃,朋友就一語不發,過后我問他為什么不說話,朋友答道:“人家也是口吃,我要回答了,那人以為我是在模仿戲弄他。”

    在說與不說之間的分寸感,雖說是一個小小的舉動,卻足以彰顯朋友為別人考慮的體貼,品行教養可見一斑。

    說話懂分寸的人,無論對于萍水相逢的陌生人還是親密家人,任何時候,都知道好好說話是我們能給予別人最低成本的善良。

    語言的力量是巨大的,他可以是一團暖人的火,也會成為殺人的刀。

    前段時間,泰國發生的一場悲劇就令人無比痛心。

    兒子因沉迷游戲,終日渾渾噩噩。父親有一天終于忍不住,把兒子大罵了一頓,對他吼道:“有種你就別活了!”,順手把上了膛的槍,放在桌子上準備離開。

    就在父親轉身的瞬間,兒子抓起槍扣動了板機,倒了下來。父親以為兒子是裝的,過去對著他的腦袋拍了一巴掌,結果兒子的尸體滑落在地……

    一切發生得如此突然,誰能想到父親憤怒時的謾罵,竟成了殺死兒子的一把匕首!點贊超高的留言也這樣評論道:一個家庭的悲劇,往往從不好好說話開始。

    試想,如果當時父親能察覺到孩子的情緒,把握住說話的分寸,好言勸說,而不是大聲指責,或許這一切就不會發生!

    語言是有情緒的,有溫度的,不管是對陌生人還是對親近的人,說話掌握好分寸都無比重要,它是一門做人的學問,也是我們畢生的修行。

    只有談吐懂分寸,知道什么叫恰如其分,什么叫不偏不倚,什么叫見好就收的人,才能擁有親近的人際關系,在人生的道路上順風順水。

    02 做事留余地:低調處世,退讓三分

    著名的哲學家、教育學家蘇格拉底曾經說過:“一顆完全理智的心,就像一把鋒利的刀子,會割傷所有使用它的人。”

    這句話的意思很簡單,就是我們在接人待物方面都要有所保留,不要把話說絕,也不要把事情做絕,容納一些意外的情況發生。這是對自己的完善,也是對他人的寬容。

    人做任何事情都要考慮自己的能力有限,盡量做到量力而行,留有余地。就像香港首富李嘉誠能把事業做得這么大,并擁有今天的財富成功,其中有一個準則就是:凡事留有余地。

    李嘉誠一直相信,給他人留點余地,也相當于給自己留空間。

    他教育兒子做生意要時刻考慮合作伙伴的利益,因為合作伙伴是與你互惠互利,與你共贏的人,如果雙方都拿50%的利潤,那你給對方60%。表面上是吃虧,但實際上是大智慧。

    他的兒子李澤楷也說過:“我父親跟我講,你和別人合作,假如你拿七分利潤合理,八分也合理,那我們李家拿六分就可以了。”

    給他人留余地,這是李嘉誠的經營智慧,他贏得的是人品和人脈。

    相反,那些說話咄咄逼人,做事從不退讓的人,就沒有多余的空間與余地,會把路給堵死。

    有一個佛門弟子,做事非常認真,日夜參禪,可是收效甚微,他只好去請教師傅。

    師傅聽后,給了他一個葫蘆和一把鹽,跟他說:“你把葫蘆裝滿水,再把鹽放進去,讓它很快融化。”

    弟子就照著師傅的去做了,但是過了一會他又來找師傅,說:“師傅,水太滿了,搖不動啊。想用筷子進去攪,可葫蘆口又太小了,進不去。所以,這鹽都沉到下面去了,化不了啊!”

    師傅聽后笑著說:“那不好辦嘛,你先把葫蘆里的水倒掉一些,然后再用力搖一搖,看看如何?”

    徒弟又立即按照師傅說的去做了,果然見效,葫蘆里的鹽很快就融化了,清水變咸水了。這一下,徒弟終于悟出了其中的“真諦”。

    水滿則溢,月滿則虧,人滿則驕。為人處事的變通之道,就是凡事留點余地,也是給自己留條后路,成全他人,成就自己。

    人生就是一場修心的旅程,人格上要講分寸,不能太卑,太卑可能會變成懦弱,也不能太傲,太亢又會咄咄逼人。

    性格上要講求內外協調,外圓內方,有理有節,不走極端,不偏激執拗,才是正確的為人之道。

    提升說話之道,掌握為人處世的分寸感,是歷來國學經典所推崇的主題。一個人的精神境界、文化涵養,說白了都是閱歷與知識所賦予的。

    閱歷需要經年累積,不可一蹴而就,唯有知識,可以從古人的智慧中獲取,品讀國學,聆聽大師的聲音,用文化滋養心靈,就是最佳的自我提升方式。

    如果這篇文章對您有幫助,請分享給身邊更多的朋友!

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